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Day 13: Sundates

I’m a Mormon, in case anybody missed it from the Intro. Find out more about us here.

I don’t intend to represent the Church in what I write or say. I represent myself.

I believe in Jesus Christ. I believe the canon of Scripture is open. Every single stanza of it shouts the truth of the sacrifice and resurrection of the Savior. It does so with loving light and power through every written word.

The Word doesn’t stop there, either. Modern Noahs, Abrahams, Peters, James and Johns reveal direction to all of us, Mormon or not. They do this at least twice a year.

This flood of light, love and help is intense.

“But RI,” you may ask, “what does this have to do with delivering pizzas and killing debt?”

Everything.

What I have learned about family drives me. Fellow Christian Dave Ramsey quotes Scripture on a constant basis. His experience is rooted in how poor money management was destroying his family and marriage. But he changed. He decided he was going to manage money like God wanted him to.

Modern and old Scripture declares a few simple Truths over and over: God doesn’t like debt. We should avoid it. If we’re in it, we need to get out of it. Fast. Through hard work. Then, we should save and give and spend our hearts out.

From the Debt section of the scriptures page from Daveramsey.com:

Matthew 6:24

"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money."

Proverbs 22:7

"The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is the slave of the lender."

Romans 13:8

"Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law."

From the LDS internet publication on Debt:

“When it is necessary to incur debt… the debt should be repaid as quickly as possible.”

And from modern Scripture:

D&C 104:78

“And again, verily I say unto you… you shall pay all your debts.”

D&C 19:35

“Pay the debt... Release thyself from bondage.”

Taking a pizza job added an extra 20-25 hours to my full-time workweek. My wife works as well. Our time together is short. We have a couple hours together on Wednesday nights. A smaller window opens on Saturday morning during sports practices. After that, Sunday is the only full day when Amazewife and I get time alone.

There are three big reasons why we do this:

1. It’s not forever.

2. We live like no one else so that we can live like no one else.

3. It’s not forever.

Ok. Maybe that’s just two reasons.

In our Church, we have Bishops. (Think Pastor or Catholic Bishop.) They try to check in on us on a personal basis. They ask about our wellbeing. I had one of those meetings today.

We discussed employment. I explained my schedule. I explained my wife’s schedule. He checked for understanding. He empathized. He gave hope, given the desires that we have. Then, he encouraged me to “get back to the datin’ days” more so now than ever. He told stories. As a poor student, his dating consisted of walks. Just walks. With lots of talks.

“There’s no need to spend money,” he said. “The little things go far in a marriage.”

I spaced off. I remembered such walks with Amazegirlfriend. I thought of playing in the rain during a late-start day Senior year. I thought of sitting and gazing at the windows of the Winter Quarters temple.

I thought of the drive when I took her home one New Year’s Eve when she kissed me at a stoplight so it wouldn’t last too long.

The Bishop was still talking. I didn’t hear him. I was still remembering. My heart was swelling as I thought of our courtship. He must have noticed my vacant expression. Maybe I was drooling. Whatever the case, three of the Bishop’s words sliced through my reverie: “even on Sundays.”

I paid closer attention.

I had excluded Sundays from dating. We try not to spend money or engage in a lot of recreation on Sunday. Dates equal money. Sunday equals Sabbath. Sabbath equals as little money as possible. So, Sunday equaled no dating. Has for years.

But something jogged my memory. I remembered the opposite. Money was a non-issue while courting. Sundays were a non-issue while courting. If we had money, we did paid stuff during the week. That didn’t happen often. Other times, we just enjoyed each other’s company. It was free of charge. We did so almost every day, including Sundays and holidays. Maybe it cost some gas, but she thought my truck was hot. Double bonus.

It’s a funny thing. I’ve been praying about this. I’m a terrible dater. Awareness of my need to improve blankets my mind on a regular basis. But, I realized something wonderful in my Bishop’s office.

No, bad wording. I remembered something wonderful. I remembered, in part, what made our courtship eternal for me.

I’ve already received offers for free babysitting. We have great windows of time on Sundays.Needless to say, I asked Amazewife on a date. She accepted for next Sunday.

Or should I say, next Sundate.

ROE INTENSE

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