Skip to main content

I won’t quit my night job. (Deliveries 5/20)

I puttered all four-and-a-half cylinders of Taurus muscle down the street and thought, “I haven’t posted a new blog post in a while.” Because I haven’t delivered in a week.

Last week was Mega Week. Mega Week is something’. Mother’s Day, our Anniversary and Meredith’s Birthday all fall within it. We had a blast. I took Friday off to take Meredith dancing and eat Localmotive.

I could still smell the rounders and frites from that awesome food truck as I hit my turn signal on my way back to the store. It click-clacked back and forth and I thought of something else.

I had forgotten to pray.

I pulled off my hat. “Lord,” I started. I noted the time of evening. “Sorry for not praying sooner. Help me to have a good night. Please bless my wife and girls. I’m going to sit and watch for something to write about. It’s been a while. Thanks for the chance.”

Time passed. It was a great night. Large tips and quick deliveries made for a smooth evening. I saw fun things, met fun people, but nothing out of the ordinary. Not even anything delightfully ordinary. Just… deliveries. I had decided I was going to write about being fed up about food. Or about something else. Heck, I thought, I might even write that story about the one time I saved the family of Hispanic children from abduction with nothing but the pizzas I was carrying and the rail gun in my trunk.

Then it happened.

My second to last delivery of the night sat on the order table. I clocked it out, grabbed the receipt and checked for soda.

No soda, but it did say, “Sing a song to me upon delivery.”

I hiked up the bag and headed to the car. I thought about songs. What could I sing? It had to be perfect. Do I sing something in Spanish? No. All I know are hymns and a little Vicente Fernandez. And I mean little.

What about English hymns? Nah, not upbeat enough.

I was came close to my destination. I was starting to sweat. I hadn’t thought of a song. Do I have her make a request? No, I’m not singing Rihanna. Metallica requires a guitar.

“Lord,” I said, again turning to Him for some help. “What do I sing?”

I thought through a few more ideas, but then a winner hit me. I had just barely hit my turn signal to turn onto her street. I knew what I was going to sing.

I called the customer. I made sure I was in the right place. She was excited that I had arrived earlier than expected. She was actually waiting for me outside. I parked and hopped out when she flagged me down.

We exchanged greetings and I handed her the clipboard.

“And you wanted me to sing, too, didn’t you?”

Her eyes went wide. “Oh my gosh, are you going to do it?” she asked. 

“Well yeah, if you want me to,” I said.

“Oh!” she said. She held a hand up. Then, she grabbed her phone and squared it. And this happened.

I’ve got a long way to go on debt. We’ve got some storm clouds we’re paying for, and such is life. Singing won’t bring in the dough, but I will. PUN INTENDED. I won’t quit my night job. That would NOT be:

ROE INTENSE

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

5 Things Every Pizza Delivery Driver Needs for Success

Updated: 2/1/2016. “How many times has Dave Ramsey said, ‘Deliver pizzas’?” Said s omeone on the Dave Ramsey forums . The answer is: lots. I hear it often when I listen to his show. That and ‘sell the car.’ ( Car payments KILL people’s wealth-building income every month. ) Since first posting this list back in December of 2014, I’ve heard great, quality responses and suggestions. The original list of five things has been updated as follows: A kit for receipt convenience   A fuel efficient car with an accurate GPS A need for speed The “Wow!” extras A smile These tips apply no matter what company you drive for. (No pun intended.) Let’s learn something.   1. You need a kit for receipt convenience   Don’t underestimate the power of a simple receipt kit. It is as follows: A clipboard. A suitable pen for your clipboard. A cheap, small flashlight with a clamp or a tether. A clipboard and pen are must-haves. It is easier on you. It is easier on them....

Days 21 & 22: Numbers and Anecdotes

Friday night and Saturday were both lows. We were hopping. Deliveries were going bonkers. Dishes needed done. Prep was heavy. Low-ness was in tips. $40.50 Friday and $36.29 Saturday. I’ve decided to refer to my big coworker as Merc. You say it like “murk”. You see, Merc is a Yu-Gi-Oh nerd. Self-proclaimed. As in, started a deck club in High School that thrives to this day. Angels sing and little pasty-white boys start to fawn when he walks in and throws down. He was furious today. Total meltdown. Dropped pizzas. Ripped his pants. He was embarrassed and felt humiliated. Things were not going well. At one point he yelled, “I quit!” and headed toward the front. I got out of the way and kept busy. He didn’t quit. A manager helped him out. He was morose after that. No more outbursts. Merc is also a talker. A couple of hours had passed from the outbursts. I was unleashing the Dishwasher on millions of unsuspecting bacteria and food chunks. He was making the next batch of deliciousness...

Day 38 & 39: Chisels and Monster Trucks

I made over $100 in tips in the last two days. That is phenomenal for a Monday/Tuesday. Other interesting things have happened. Merc has moved on to bigger and better things. No, he didn’t die. I came in some time during the last week, asked where he was, and found out he was gone. Cap’n let me know. Speaking of Cap’n. I was running a report on the back computer. I sat on a small, hydraulic chair. The fabric was crusty and powdered. The cushion was well worn from many a backside. The hydraulic system seemed flawless. As I sat working, I adjusted my feet underneath. I lost altitude. I didn’t think anything of it. The loss of altitude coincided with my foot adjustment. You’ve done that before. You hit the button with your heel and boom , you’re eight inches closer to Mother Earth. “Nothing?” I hear. I turned around and started. Cap’n was right there. “I didn’t get anything out of you?” she said. She had a wry smile. “Uhhhh, you startled me just now standing there!” “I lowered ...