I was on the tail end of my night. One of my last deliveries was to the Centurylink Hilton. In front of the main entrance is a circular, curbed obelisk light thing. I parked on the North end to the side of a shuttle. See below. ‘X’ marks the spot.
I turned off the car, pocketed the keys and started my Maneuver. The Maneuver involves leaving my car backwards to better facilitate the extrication of the pizza bag. It’s pretty snazzy. I can do it quite well. I think and feel like an 18 year old every time. Except this time.
I misjudged how close I was to that obelisk thing.
My right heel hit the curb. I lost my balance. I felt the shock absorb into my knees as I tumbled to the pavers. I dropped the food on my way down.
First thought, “Oh no! The deliciousness has fallen!”
Second thought, “That went better than expected!”
Since we humans think at speeds faster than light, all this transpired before my fingertips bounced with the force of the impact.
I recovered as quick as possible and checked the food. The box didn’t open. We’re good. I picked myself up, shook it off like Taylor Swift and bounded for the entrance.
And there were the bellhops. Their lips were tight. They avoided eye contact. You know that look.
Yeah, I noticed. I almost told them that I did in fact almost die back there. I got better. But no. Had to run.
I got through the revolving door and up the elevator. My customer, Jiahehah or Jiahehwah or something, was grateful that the deliciousness was prompt.
Which is good. I fell to see how it could have been late. Get it? Fell? Fail? Fail to see… forget it.
Earlier that night, we had dinner before I left for pizza. My wife had a Church engagement, so my concuñada, which is to say my wife’s sister-in-law – we’ll call her Amazeteacher - sat at the head of the table. She was there to help with the kids. A feast of macaroni and cheese and hot dogs with salad laid before us. The oldest princesses sat to either side of her. We were next along the side of the table. The youngest princess shouted orders in Lenoraese – the language of her queendom - from her throne at the opposite end.
I asked Eva to pray for us.
She thanked Heavenly Father for the day. She thanked him for “this food.” Then she said “please bless” seven times. Broken record effect. Happens to all praying four year olds at least once. She finished after a few seconds.
“And please bless Daddy can have money. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen,” she said.
I tend to listen whenever a four year old invokes the name of Christ on anyone’s behalf. I’ve seen some stuff. Eva knows we’re trying to get out of debt as a family. She knows that’s why I deliver pizzas. We’ve prayed that we can get good tips before, but that we’ll take whatever we can. This one seemed simple. Just bless him so he can have it.
As we were heading out the door, Amazeteacher wished me lots of success and many tips. My wife and I both made a face.
“Tuesday nights are nothing nights,” we said.
“If I make over $20, we’re golden,” I said.
I made $63. Yeah. I’ve seen some stuff.
So my daughter’s prayers were answered. My concuñada is amazing. Everything worked out in the end and I went to sleep happy.
Sometime during the night, I turned 29. I woke up, stepped onto the floor and felt last night’s fall from my left Achilles tendon to the back of my neck.
As always, trying to remain healthy AND
ROE INTENSE
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