Spanish wins.

This story is brought to you by the word ballenitas. It is pronounced BAW-YEN-EE-TAHS. It means “baby whales.”

Let me explain. No, no time to explain. Let me sum up.

There I was, packing condiments into small packets. My manager “Michoacana” - who is not from Michoacán, but Zacatecas - was talking to the Traitor. (The Traitor isn’t a true traitor. She just works for another non-pizza company during off time.)

Anyway, the Traitor had a Starbucks coffee. She had also bought two burritos. She was eating one. Zacatecas was eating the other. Out of nowhere, Zacatecas took a drink of the Traitor’s coffee.

The Traitor stopped, the burrito half in her mouth. Her eyes went wide. She removed the burrito. She smiled.

“Did you just drink out of my coffee?” she said, her eyes narrowing.

“Did you just drink her coffee?” I asked.

“Yep,” Zacatecas answered with a smile.

I was shocked. Despite my chagrin, a conversation about Starbucks ensued. I remember saying something about how awesome their hot chocolate was before I went back to packing condiments.

The thought of Zacatecas taking that drink invaded my mind. And brought another thought with it. It was a question I couldn’t help but ask.

“What if you left floaties in her coffee?” I asked Zacatecas.

Zacatecas and I have a mutual respect. Sometimes she says things in Spanish I don’t understand. Sometimes I say things in English she doesn’t understand. We explain to each other as best as possible. This was an example of the latter.

“What are floaties?” she asked.

“What do you mean floaties?” the Traitor asked from the background. She looked worried.

I answered Zacatecas. “Los pedacitos de comida que quedan en tu boca después de comer.” (The little pieces of food that are left in your mouth after eating.)

“¡Ohhhh! Los llamamos ballenitas.”

There’s the word of the day. Ballenitas. Baby whales.

English is inferior to Spanish in so many ways. This is one of them.

Spanish: 1

English: 0

Spanish wins.

“Seriously, baby whales?” I said. It was hard to ask. I was laughing just enough for the question to come out in a mix of Spanish and English accent.

Zacatecas laughed.

“Yeah, or pescaditos (baby fish)…”

The Traitor seemed confused. She thought I was asking if she left floaties in her own coffee. I explained that I asked if Zacatecas did, not her.

When realization and disgust meet on anyone’s face at the same time, the result is amazing. Blogworthy.

I vowed then and there that I would tell the whole world how Zacatecas took a drink of the Traitor’s coffee and probably left her some baby whales at the bottom.

People, your life is your coffee, and debt peddlers are your coworkers without boundaries. Don’t let them leave baby whales in your coffee.

ROE INTENSE